Bye bye blog-ville

New news: I am done with blogging. It's been fun. I have really enjoyed the feedback from the handful of people I know who read my posts. Turns out though, I am getting too "into" my computer world, and I need to have fewer things pulling me towards my monitor (and away from my real life). I want to draw more, and read more from the stack of books in my room, and I could probably stand to fold the laundry a little more often. Since my last post was in crisis mode, I thought I would end with this happier moment from today.

So TIRED this afternoon, which I only mention because I assume (hope) that everyone isn't operating like that. I am sure the day will return when I don't have to give up sleep hours for free time, or work time, or a moment of quiet - but for now that is my life.

It was COLD outside, but the house was warm, and there was a little square of sunshine on the carpet. I had  laundrydishesworkpainting  nothing to do, so I laid there for a bit while the boys played all around me, and on top of me. J brought me a blanket for a "comfy pillow." Love that kid. I drifted in and out of consciousness and soaked in some much needed Vitamin D. The Honey came home and pretty soon he was lying next to me in that little sunshine square. J, never one to miss out on a group snuggle, wedged in between us. Nator played around us, then would appear suddenly, putting his face a half inch from ours with a big, drooly smile. It wasn't really peaceful. Too much fidgeting for that, and you could never be sure when Nator was going to "show" you his toy by whacking you between the eyes with it. But it was a bit like my heaven - some sunshine, a nap, and all my honeys within snuggle distance. 

Thanks for reading and commenting. Love to you all and your fams. xo NinjaMama

Number Two = Poo

I was changing the sheets today while the boys played on the bed. Not a single safety warning sounding off in my brain, and then NT fell off the bed. One second he was standing and then boom, thunk. He fell off backwards and hit his head on the baseboard heater. Owwwww. I picked him up and he had that terrible cry where the facial expressions are all distorted, but no sound comes out. I had to calm him down just to get him to nurse. There's more. Yesterday at the furniture store he slipped from the couch he was sitting on and hit his forehead on the corner of a table. Instant goose-egg, and now there are two. Front and back. And more. Earlier in the day I peeked in at the boys in the tent (thinking they were playing nicely) and there was J, whacking NT with the foam sword. NT didn't even cry out, just had his head down to take it. J is alternately rough and loving with him. It doesn't matter to NT, he just wants to be near his brother, sword bashing and all. But, he's a baby! My soft little baby.

I have let him down. I honestly forget sometimes that he is only 18 months, and as such, NOT as balance-savvy or vocal as the resident 4-year old. We work on big bro to be gentle, but it's a long day full of interactions. I remember the fall-down stage with J, where it seemed that he had a perpetual lump on his head, or fat lip. But I also have this residual feeling, okay let's just call it what it is - I have this residual guilt, that J got more from us. More from ME, and I probably took better care of him. I know what you will say. Things are just different with the second child. Really they are better off because they aren't the center of your world. Ugh. Maybe. I hope so? What I do know is that I feel pretty crappy about it all. 

The good news: spring break is finally over. Tomorrow NT and I will have 3 hours mano-a-mama. I think I can probably keep him from hitting his head, I am just not sure that that is enough.

Bubblewrap

A friend sent me this link today. 

Something about popping bubble wrap is SO satisfying. 

Be sure to try it in the "Manic Mode".

Maybe I can use this as my stress-reducer in lieu of chocolate. 

I can see it now, "Wow! You look great, how did you do it?"

Me: "I popped bubblewrap in cyberspace, the pounds just came off." 

Keep your eyes out for my diet book, "How I lost 30 pounds with bubblewrap."

Just another day in the newsroom

As soon as I get into the shower, we are like our own News Team around here.

NT is the broadcaster. "WAHHHH!!!"

I am the investigative reporter (head sudsy with shampoo). "What is going on out there?"

J is the on-the-scene reporter. "He tried to take my Lego ship."

Here I make a plea for "just 5 minutes" of fraternal harmony, so that the investigative reporter can rinse the soap out of her eyes. 

Then we load up the stroller and head to a local park, always on the lookout for a good story.

Yes, Jesus is dead

Saturday J and I hit the town to get a present for an upcoming birthday party. He combed the aisles of the toystore, taking it all in and came across an "action figure" of Jesus. 

J: "Mom, who is this guy?"

Me: "It's Jesus."

J: "Who is Jesus?"

Faithful blog readers, or anyone who has known me for over a week, knows that I am not highly religious. So it follows that my son had yet to make the acquaintance. Despite all of that, having our state of religious affairs broadcasted to the entire store (and the overtly Christian proprietor standing nearby), just two weeks after Easter, caught me up for a moment. I couldn't hold in the smile, though. It was funniest question I had been asked all week.

Me: "Um, Jesus was a really great teacher, who lived a LONG time ago, and he was such a great teacher, and such a nice man that people today still talk about him, and try to be like him." (good one - pause to pat myself on the back for this explanation), and... 

J: "But he's DEAD now, right?"

Me: "Yeah, he lived a long time ago..."

J: "And he's dead now."

Me: "Yes, he's dead."

J: "Yeah, Jesus is dead. Mom, come look at this!"

Four is really turning out to be an age of wonders. Lately J is most interested in whether things are alive or dead, which things are inanimate, and therefore can't grow (like rocks), and how creatures protect themselves. This last one is especially popular, and makes up a good part of our daily conversation. For instance, did you know: 

Slugs: Ooze slime

Giraffes: Kick to fight off lions

and

Fire, although inanimate "looks kind of alive", and can burn you?

Now we have added to our wealth of knowledge - Jesus is dead. 

God bless him.